Ephemeral Thoughts On A Lazy Thursday Night

One of the beautiful elements that this blog has brought into my life is the need to search out inspiration. I don't want to let this blog languish and waste the creative potential, so I look for things that are worth thinking about our sharing with the internet at large. Of course, I like to think of this blog in more intimate terms. I'm writing for those few people that are willing to brave the depths of my mind, or at least humor me enough to read this blog, instead of a large faceless entity. The inspiration that I find can be the mundane things like a rant against a magazine or just thinking about what it means to be human.

Today's inspiration came to me as I was walking through the kitchen at my job. The responsibilities of my job sometimes distract from the beauty of the scene sometimes. Today, I walked out of my office and smelled the rich, sweet scent of the cheesecakes that the pastry chefs were working on. I looked in and saw them mixing and measuring as they prepared another recipe. Then I walked toward the banquet kitchen and smelled the heavy, savory aroma of the Achiote chicken they were preparing. I heard the soft sounds of music playing as the chefs laughed, joked, and talked amongst themselves. The raucous laughter so boisterous, that it places a small smile upon your lips despite not knowing what the joke was about.

As I walk through the main kitchen, I see familiar faces turning and smiling warmly as they see me. Feeling the warmth of that morning greeting from each person that I see. The reminder that these are the people that I see every morning for the majority of the week makes the kitchen seem a lot smaller. A lot cozier. These are people that I've shared stories with. Laughed alongside. Watched my children grow, as I've watched theirs grow. I love seeing the vibrant and fragrant colors of the salads they are working on for the day. Seeing the vibrancy compared to the metal sheen of the tables makes the greens, reds, and whites in the salad stand out all the more.

As I round the corner toward the dish area, I'm greeted by the lilting laughter of the stewards as they work to organize the dishes for washing. They know me by name and loudly greet me as I pass. The sincerity of the greeting makes sure that I greet them in kind each day. After this, I've made it to my starting place in this company. I'm back to the restaurant that started my career at this company. Each day, I'm reminded of the fact that I use to bus tables in this restaurant. Now I'm responsible for all the food and beverages that are served within the hotel. That reminder of how far I've come, and the people that pushed and fought for me to get there, are dear to me. Even though there are new faces in a familiar place, I know that they are always friendly, genuine, and warm. Each and every day.

Looking for the inspiration for this post opened up my eyes to the wonder of what I have already. I have a place to work that, despite all of my complaints or criticisms, is filled with wonderful people, places, smells, views, and emotions. I always thought it strange when businesses would sell their "scent" to customers. Now I get why that is so important to people. The smell incites the sensory memory to remind you of those good times and feelings.

Whenever I happen to leave this place for something greater, these are the types of memories that I'll take away and miss so much. The people and the joy of working with each and every one of them. The joy of watching them work, laugh, and live each day. Those are what I will miss most.

Until next time, dear reader.

Late Night Ruminations

Tonight is one of those nights where the night owl in me is left to sit alone with my thoughts. Everyone else is asleep, so the house is silent and dark. While I know that this is ideal for most people, I find it to be the hardest part of the day. When the house falls dormant, I end up alone for about 5 hours. 5 hours of solitude is awful when you're me. Ever have that feeling of time dragging on forever when you are bored? That's how my brain operates when I'm alone. So I sit and think for what feels like hours. So in the spirit of sharing my solitude, I'll express the current thought that is taking up so much of my cranial capacity today.

Yesterday, I sat in a bar with friends and watched three different sporting events at the same time. At the same time, I was having a conversation with a woman over Twitter. It was interesting to feel like I was connecting and hanging out with a friend in the room. My friends and I laughed and joked at the bar, while my friend and I chatted and joked over a social network. The expansion of the human experience through technology was an amazing experience for me. I have always been a technophile, so being able to connect with the world around me really excited the extrovert in me.

Which of course got me to begin thinking about the extrovert that I am. I'm very insular. I keep my cards close to the chest and I'm very analytical about when I can utilize that information to an advantage. This is one of those nurtured behaviors, as I was taught very early about the power that knowledge and information can give to someone. Yet despite this teaching, I crave the social circle. Being within a group is not nearly enough however. I want to know everything and meet everyone. I suppose that I enjoy the thrill of people. Not necessarily the approval or acceptance, but the experience of meeting them. Of hearing their stories and experiences. The thrill of finding similarities and the challenge of approaching the differences. The extrovert and knowledge gatherer within me crave these elements of the human experience.

This is why I would love to see mankind gain a form of telepathy. Not because I want to read the private thoughts of those around me (Though that would be an interesting experience, if maybe not a bit too revealing!), but so that we can share the emotions and feelings we have along side the words that we use. Imagine listening to a story of how two people meet and feel in love. Imagine if you could feel the passion of that first meeting. Imagine feeling the nervous glances and second thoughts that they had when they worked up the courage to start a relationship. The feel of the emotion when they felt that spark of emotion between them. Our imagine that stereotypical fight between a husband and wife where the woman claims nothing is wrong. Wouldn't it be nice if the husband was able to feel the hurt and anger that she is hiding within her heart? Imagine if he was able to gain just a small bit of insight into why she is upset. Imagine if she was able to feel his genuine concern when he asks what is wrong. I find the thought of being able to connect with others not only on an intellectual level or physical level, but on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level an amazing thought. Words are an excellent means of expressing thoughts and emotions, but sometimes you feel something that you can't accurately describe with the written word.

Anyway, I am enjoying the human experience and I have been absolutely blessed to have amazing people in my life. The family and friends I have allow me to look at all the stories and experiences that I get to be a part of, which is an exciting and humbling thought. The friend that I have business plans with, the friends that share their crazy stories, the family that I created so many cherished memories with, and the family I get to create memories with now..... I'm truly honored. Which is why I also want to do for others this year as well. So, I'll be making sure that I take the opportunities for such activities when I'm able to from now on. Anyway, enough ruminating for one evening.

Until next time, dear reader.

Humans As Resources

I've always heard the name Human Resources and automatically associated it with benefits and employee relations. However, I recently met a person that literally utilizes humans as a resource for client businesses. This type of business has databases or files that they can call on if a client has an opening that they may be compatible with. My first thought was one of curiosity. How does such a business actually work? Funding this type of business can't be easy, until I realized that the product was actually people.

Before anyone thinks that I am judging this practice, I am actually intrigued. Providing a service for smaller businesses that may not have the resources to have dedicated HR offices, while also being able to provide a service to potential job seekers is a great deal. Staffing services and temp agencies provide this service (And I know that I've been fortunate to not need them).

Anyway, I just thought it was an interesting business. It also provides more background and resource knowledge for whenever I am capable of being self employed. It also provides me a name to look for. After all, it's not always what you know, but who you know.

Until next time, dear reader.

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other

So I've had a strange day so far. Not necessarily because anything out of the ordinary had happened, but because I've been overly energetic and spacing out a lot today. I actually had someone walk up behind me, I noticed it and then had to wait for what seemed like forever for my brain to process that a person was there and to acknowledge their greeting. If my body wasn't weird with regards to caffeine, I'd almost have a cup so that I could calm down. (Clarification: Caffeine puts me to sleep, so I have to stay away from the stuff if I have to drive or do anything productive.)

If I were to posit a theory as to why I'm so energetic, I'd have to say because of the night of awesome dreaming. Since I control my dreams, I don't have nightmares or even bad dreams anymore. I just fall into a dreamless sleep, which is rather boring. However, last night my subconscious came up with its own awesome dreams. Having a night where I can just sit back and relax into a dream was nice. If my subconscious wants to keep this up, I will gladly let it happen.

Of course, learning that ability wasn't the most pleasant experience. I saw a movie that was terrifying to me when I was a little boy (This is before I was suppose to have memory...) and as a result, I developed terrible nightmares and an occasional bout of REM apnea. If you don't know what that is like, I'll describe the experience for you. You have a dream where a murderer has chased you into a dark room and is now stalking you. You wake up to escape the dream right? Sure, but you still have sleep paralysis and are unable to move our even call out for help. So your mind is stuck with that awful dream playing in every shadow of the room. Not an experience to look forward to, that's for sure. So, my mind aided me in breaking that nightly cycle.

Now I get to cruise through dreams, sure. But some days, I do miss the ability to just let bad things happen in a dream. If only so that I can feel more "normal". Of course, I like me to much to want to change that at all. (Yes, I'm THAT smug jerk.) Anyway, I'll end today's random psychoanalysis and wish you all a great day.

Until next time, dear reader.

Good Advice Is Hard To Come By

I'll preface this entry by saying that it will be very.... open about some intimate details. Basically, this is your TMI warning. This post is mostly a rant, but it is a rant about sexual advice from Cosmopolitan. This is the opportunity to look away if the details are too much information or if you are easily offended. Alright, warnings are done, so let's rant!

As a man, I continue to make the same mistake. Cosmopolitan will use a headline like, "The 10 things your man wants tonight!" This style of headline has me as a man wondering what 10 things they could possibly be referring to, which means I read their "advice". Of course, I'm then left wondering why I even bothered afterwards.

Here is where I lay into some details, so if you ignore the earlier warning, then stop reading.

The latest issue had a quiz that tested a woman's "penis" knowledge. Seeing how I have one, I figured this would be a cakewalk. Imagine my surprise when I was wrong on almost every answer! Size when not erect? Wrong. Shape when erect? Wrong. Refraction period length? Wrong. Orgasm length? Wrong. Evidently my penis is a terrible teacher. It has failed to teach me any of the "absolute facts" that I've never experienced! Add I've heard it told, I'm an anomaly with regards to average performance and so my experience's may not have qualified me for "passing" this quiz.

Just for your sake, I'll post the quiz and answers for you to compare. It's all true or false, so it's not like it's hard, right?

1) The average guy's O lasts about six seconds.

True. (Glad I'm not average there!)

2) Penises are approximately five inches long when not hard.

False. It's 3.5 inches. (What do I know. I've never had a flaccid penis, right?)

3) After a guy finishes, he can't get it up for about 10 minutes.

False. It should take about 30 minutes. (If you said B.S., you are reading my mind!)

4) The bigger his feet, the bigger his man bits.

False. No correlation. (I got one! I'm not a complete failure.)

5) The only way to cure blue balls is by getting off.

False. Take a cold shower, aspirin, or think about something else. (This can't be new information. The cold shower is pretty common knowledge isn't it?)

6) When he goes into deep REM sleep, he gets an erection.

True. (Morning wood ahead! 50% at this point! I've gotten three in a row!)

7) When he's turned on, his package is shaped like a boomerang.

True. (A what? Maybe I've seen some awkward boomerang...)

So I got 3/7, if my interjections didn't give that away... Of course, there were also the articles in the magazine that had me cringing at their advice. Sometimes, it's better to communicate with a guy you are in a relationship with (or at least friends enough to talk about sex with), instead of consulting an assortment of men off of the street and giving them a small number of options.

Anyway, this rant was rather pointless, but I wanted to post it anyway. If you read this and are offended, do remember that I warned you. If you are leaving never to return, please do let me know! Feedback is a nice thing and I'd like to remember your visiting! Anyway, I'm off to go do something less productive.

Until next time, dear reader.

Remembrance and Celebration

Today is the day that we in America have decided to recognize Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. for all that he did during the Civil Rights Era. It is remarkable to look back and see that in such a short time, we have moved from legalized and institutionalized segregation, to having an African-American sit as the elected leader of our Government. It is a humbling and sobering thought.

One of the things that actually makes me join in the celebration of the man is that he utilized diplomacy when he realistically had no leverage. He utilized the love of the fellow man to grow public support and ultimately lost his life trying to pursue the notion of equality for all, regardless of race or belief system. Who we are as people should determine our worth, not the melanin levels within our skin.

While I was not always a believer in peaceful means being effective, I have since learned the error of that style of thinking. This change in thinking was what lead me to appreciate Malcolm X as a whole person. His initial story and message was one that matched my fledgling beliefs of equality. As he grew and learned from others, as I did, he learned the value of true racial equality. Many times I have to remember that not others have had the "transformative" moments yet, and so they may still be ignorant (I'm looking on the bright side and hoping that they aren't just hateful).

Anyway, I've rambled on enough about this stuff. In summation, Happy Belated Birthday, MLK, Jr. Thank you for your lessons and legacy.

Until next time, dear reader.

Moviegoing and Harsh Critics

I've been on vacation from work for the last two weeks. So I have been spending my evenings watching movies that I've wanted to see but never made the time to view. They have largely been movies based upon existing literature, so I've gone into the movies with the assumption that they will not be as good as the book (They rarely are, but it's a difficult medium to translate). This assumption, as it turns out, allowed me to enjoy the movies more than I would have.

I find that comic books have a late amount of back story, which can be difficult for new comic fans and is why Marvel and DC are constantly having "events" that reestablish their continuity. This back story means that a movie has a lot to work with, in my opinion anyway. Which is why the comic need in me is so distraught when it is all discarded for a Hollywood script. If you'd like an example of how distraught, engage me about Spider-man 3 sometime. (Probably a bad idea actually.) Anyway, I need to get back to my point.

Watching The Hobbit: Unexpected Journey was more enjoyable because I didn't utilize the book as the measuring tool, but instead utilized the movie itself. The critic in me was divided into the book fan and the standard moviegoer. The book fan was able to see where the book was cut and how it may have improved or detracted from the movie. It was an interesting thought and viewing experiment. The critic in me evolves.

Until next time, dear reader.

Twitter As An Exercise Tool

So I found myself searching for something to post here while I wait for my daughter to get out of school. Through this writer's block, I realized that I've been using Twitter to stimulate my mind into actually giving voice to the random bits of thought and information that come to mind. It has been an interesting experiment so far, with a widening of my ability to express myself in more succinct terms. The character limit means that I have to for the meaning of my thoughts into the 140 characters that they allow. As I love the English language too much to butcher it, I have to monitor word choice and really focus on the message that I wish to convey.

Of course this clashes with my learned method of discourse for writing, as I like to throw as many words at a sentence as possible in order to have a higher word count. So the mental process that I've held onto for so long are now tested and changed each day. Hopefully this blog provides a similar experience, as I am not overly verbose when speaking. I like myself enough to be comfortable in silence, yet I'm aware how awkward that makes a situation. (Full disclosure: I say comfortable enough when I mean that I'm constantly ego checking myself in order to stop myself from coming across as smug or conceited. I'm aware that it is a flaw and so I work to improve myself.) So I will utilize a familiar and comfortable manner of communication in order to express myself. The more I learn and practice the skill, the more I grow as a person. Yay for progress, right?

Until next time, dear reader.

Late night...or early morning?

Children are a strange and beautiful thing. My youngest is not feeling well, so she does that one baffling thing children do. She cried and fussed because she is exhausted and wants to go to sleep. Mind you, this would be okay if we were keeping her up. Since she is in bed and woke up to be fussy, the frustration is pretty high. Of course, here I am awake and writing this at 3 in the morning. However, I heard from a friend about how she writes about her thoughts and dreams before bed. Since I thought this was a good idea, I'm now stealing the concept for myself.

Anyway, I'll be getting back to my movie and being the overly critical snob that I am. (If the sarcasm there wasn't palpable enough, I'll go ahead and say that the movie part is the only truth in the previous sentence.) I'm a critic, but I leave the snob business for those who know how to do it. Now to stop rambling...

Until next time, dear reader.

Just a heads up

Since this is a blog that covers the random thoughts that come to my mind, there will be entries that cover intimate or taboo topics. I'll be diligent and inform anyone before hand about these posts. If you read these posts, it was your own fault!

Through The Looking Glass

I am a night owl by nature, so I like to catch the late night programming on PBS before I retire for the night. The special on last night was one that hit close to home: The Abolitionists: American Experience. Being African-American, I was very into the history and stories of slavery. Partially because it gave me incentive to live my life as successfully as possible, but also because I wanted to see how a human being could possibly feel that slavery was justified. This episode focused specifically on Frederick Douglas and his run to freedom and the subsequent assistance that he provided to the abolitionist movement.

Watching the story of torture and abuse and how common it was really brought home how inhumane the experience was for all involved. Seeing human beings in photographs with more affection being shown for the family dog was heart wrenching. It was even more awful to see a Master vow to hunt down his slave and teach him a lesson, despite the fact that he was now a successful author and well known across the United States. When they told of the transformative escape that he made to England, my heart hurt even more because he had an experience that I don't even have now in 2013. He was entirely free of racism.

That single bit of the episode really brought home how far that we have come as a society, but also how far we have to go as well. For the most part, I am not judged by my race. I can walk into almost any business and be viewed as a viable customer, however that is not every business. Lastly, I have friends that cover a wide swath of different races, cultures, and belief systems and we all consider each other equals. We have certainly made progress and I look forward to seeing the world that my children and grandchildren will live in.

History teaches us a great deal, but gazing through the looking glass of time certainly allows us to gain an appreciation for the lessons and stewardship that those before us displayed on my behalf.

Until next time, dear reader.

Welcome to the internet!

Welcome to a small piece of my mind. While that may seem creepy at first, I assure you that it is much worse! I kid......mostly. I need to spend more time actually utilizing this blog, so I am making the time to start posting.

I have to say that 2013 really needs to get better. This year has certainly started off rocky... We started the year off by mourning the passing of my nephew, who was only four months old at the time. I have since decided to ensure that I take the opportunities that I am presented. Or make them myself if I need to. I won't make any formal resolutions to that effect, however I do intend to adhere to this goal. I guess that is really all that I have for now.

Until next time, dear reader!