Happiness Is...

A lot of times, we take for granted the things that we have, even if they are things gone wrong. I mean, one look at the First World Problems meme and it is immediately apparent that while it might be a major concern for us, it might be trivial compared to what others are going through. Now this isn't to demean the struggles of others at all. It is just to say that sometimes I forget this simple truth. Getting caught up in all of the struggles that might come up personally, I forget that there are vastly worse situations I could be in and worse struggles that I could face. This point is why it was such a pleasure to take place in a hospital visit this week. I was able to team up with a group of other heroes, some imaginary and others the real life deal (Thank you for your service!), and use that group in order to provide happiness and a smile to children.

Thanks to the generosity of Children's Mercy Hospital, members of KC Cosplay and Photography, artist Darryl Woods, members of the military, as well as a few Stormtroopers with an R2 unit were invited by Jessica Meditz-Porter to visit with a few of the inpatient children at the hospital. We arrived and got a room all set up to have a meet and greet with the children that were able to come to the room. After we got to meet with a few amazing children and their families, we got to go to the floor and visit with some of the children who were unable to leave their rooms. The group split into two groups at this point. One group to go talk to the teenagers, the other to go chat with the younger patients. I was chosen to go with the younger children, which led to the activity room.

In the activity room, we got to color mustaches and paper with a few of the children, while Darryl drew pictures for them. Then we got to visit a few patient rooms! Having the pleasure to make a kid's 12th birthday special was a major highlight of the day. While it was a bit bittersweet, as it is heartbreaking to see a child stuck in a hospital bed to celebrate their birthday, it was amazing to be capable of providing that smile. The happiness of seeing a group of your favorite heroes walk into your room and wish you happy birthday would be awesome. To be a part of providing that experience was beyond words.

Many of the children there are going to be there for a while. They have been provided with things to help them pass the time, such as a Wii or DVD player. So taking the good things in my life for granted is just that bit tougher. While my love for doing this cosplay thing is made just that much stronger.

Happiness is being a part of something that makes the lives of others better. That is my happiness.

Until next time, dear reader.

Polaroids for the kids!

All In A Day's Work

Well after l little over a year, I have finally returned to this page!

I certainly apologize about the lapse in updates! Life happens and I failed to make the time. But I am back and I figured I would retool the theme of the blog.

While I like the ability to use it as a sounding board for any of the various thoughts or ideas that come to me, I figure that it can also be a place for me to fill with all of the hobby items that I get myself into.  Which brings me to the rest of this post. Today's theme item, and it's likely to be a recurring one, is costuming and/or cosplay.

While the two are not interchangeable terminologies, they do tend to operate within similar circles of influence. Case in point, the group that I have become a part of, KCCP or KC Cosplay and Photography, is filled with a myriad of costumers, photographers, fabricators, and cosplayers. The generic term of cosplay does not denote everyone, certainly. But it is a fairly recognizable word among those of us nerdy enough to enjoy the hobby. Costumed Roleplay, where cosplay is derived, allows an individual to inhabit and bring to life the character that they portray. This one is big for me particularly because I love theatrics and I enjoy providing that entertainment for others. To further those goals, I enjoy doing community outreach, particularly when I have a reason to dress up, because it allows me to not only give back to the community that I live within, but also to provide that wonder and fascination that many of us remember as kids.

I remember going to Disney as a kid and the first time I got to meet Mickey Mouse face to face. Now this Mickey couldn't talk or do too much that would allow me to interact with them, largely to maintain the mystery, but it was still a magical experience for the little kid version of me. I still can fondly remember the experience, decades after this took place. So why would I not want to provide the same experience to those around me? I can give back to my community, through a donation of something as simple as my time, AND provide a memorable experience for myself and others? Sign me up. So I did. Which brings me to this past weekend.

I was fortunate enough to be a part of the previously mentioned group, who was fortunate enough to be invited to provide a bit of entertainment for children, and their families, who had recently graduated from the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). The event took place at Paradise Park, which is an indoor facility with a number of activities, arcades, and areas for children and families to have some fun. The event was put on by Hand To Hold, an organization that is dedicated to providing care and support for children after they have left the NICU, as these children still have an uphill fight to grow healthy and strong. Hand to Hold had an area of Paradise Park set aside for a number of activities and playrooms that the children could freely move between and the event was Super Hero themed. The idea was to ensure these children knew that they were awesome warriors that have a lot of fight to give! That may just be my take on the message anyway....

Anyway, to facilitate this message, why not have some actual super heroes on hand?! Thus, KCCP on the job.

The heroes have arrived!

After the arrival, we were shown the area and it was time to go an interact with some kids. As the Green Lantern in the picture, I was recognizable enough to get a few kids that wanted to talk to me or get high fives, fist bumps, or a hug in a few cases. It was a tremendously gratifying experience. While I loved seeing the smiles and excitement for "Green Lantern!!!" to be there, it was so very inspiring to see the support network in place for these kids. Hand to Hold provided not only a great time to celebrate a wonderful occasion, they also provide a means for families to know where to turn if they are struggling to find the care that a child might need. Healing doesn't end at the hospital after all!

Anyway, if you want to check them out and possibly donate to their cause, feel free. Here is the link. More pictures of the event after the jump!

Until next time, dear reader!

Stopping a robbery in action!

Returning the stolen loot!

Heroes in the kitchen!

Lanterns want cookies too!

Was this young heroine hogging all of the cookies?!

Serious hero photo

Silly hero photo

Heroes helping in the kitchen

Meeting a future Green Lantern Corpsmen

Practicing his future pose

The Blah Report

Today isn't a very interesting day here on the blog. Today's entry mostly consists of the various things that come to mind while hooked up to "Laughing Gas" at the dentist's office.

I'll start by saying that those who know me and my metabolism, will likely know how this story goes. For those who are unfamiliar, I metabolize things very quickly. So it takes some effort to get drunk, high, or otherwise influenced by substances. This is of course aided by my vain love of self and the refusal to be anything but myself of course. (I'm not too proud to admit my faults. I'm a vain man when I want to be.) Anyway, this makes the trip to a dentist a terrible time. In my youth, I wasn't aware of my "talent" for resistance, so I never thought to ask doctors or dentists to "pump up the volume" when giving me medicine. This means that I ended up in a lot of pain sometimes, because the numbing medication had ZERO effect.

So now I make it a point to ensure they understand this. So they gassed me in order to overcome my nervousness during today's visit. But guess what? The other part of my gift showed up! The part that develops immunities! Since I've been gassed two previous times, my body was able to cut through the BS and go straight to just fine. Yay me! So that meant I had to distract myself while they shot me up with lots of numbing medication (8 times!).

This encounter, combined with a renewed interest in media that discusses genetic engineering and super soldiers, made me realize that if there ever was a real program like that, they should get a copy of whatever that gene is within me. I could only image the type of resistance that gene could develop if "unfettered". Could you imagine what would happen if science made a person capable of developing immunities to chemical processes? Vital attacks, germ warfare, and biological terrorism being completely worthless, because of an autoimmune response against these attacks.

Then again, the person would never be capable of having any type of humane medical procedure. Immunity to painkillers? Immunity to anesthesia? That super soldier better come with an off/on switch to their pain, because let me tell you, there is nothing so awkwardly damaging as being awake during a surgical procedure. Even if you aren't capable of feeling any pain at the time, being awake while things are broken and cut takes on a while new perspective when you are the one being broken and cut.

Of course, while the dentist I visited is a great office with nice staff, they have the rooms set up in a manner that really messed with my head. The nice comfy chair faces the one way window, so you get to people watch with impunity. However, once the chair is leaned back, as is often the case in a dental office, the cars that pass by are merely glimmers that show up out of the lower peripheral, while the sun reflects off them and creates a reflection in the upper peripheral. So now you have the feeling of lots of people walking in the room. Which is compounded by the fact that the entryways into the room are behind the big chair, so anyone entering the room comes from behind you unannounced.

Needless to say, my own mental issues made it impossible to ever get to the laughing stage of the day. So scientists, get to work on building that super soldier. Brain, get to work on being less paranoid. Reader, thanks for reading through my strange mental process.

Until next time, dear reader.

Equality is whimsical, no?

Today marks the commemoration of 50 years since the march on Washington, D.C. and the "I have a dream" speech of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The videos and speeches that took place over the weekend prior show just how far we've come...and how far we have to go until there is true equality in our country. While there have been amazing strides taken, I can't help but feel like there are certainly situations that show how far things need to go before we can consider "all men created equal." To quote one of the speakers from this weekend (I'd specify who if my memory allowed it), "We live in a country where a black man can be voted President of the United States. We live in a country where a black man can be profiled for wearing a hoodie."

I remember reading a video game website, The Penny Arcade Report, where the writer describes the foolish things that they did in their youth. While he was mentioning how unjust the legal system had dealt with a young boy for comments made over Facebook, I couldn't help but be awed by the things that were okay for a young man to do by their standards. One of the comments under the article seemed to agree with me. The foolish things they mentioned doing would have been near suicidal for me to do as a kid. Fireworks in a neighbor's mailbox? The police would have treated me like an urban terrorist. Or worse.

To compound issues, there is this politically motivated concept that it now "sucks to be white in America." I just cannot fathom this viewpoint. I had to learn to pull my wallet and insurance out of the car and leave them in plain sight when pulled over to avoid being shot. I have to deal with the purse clutching and door locking that happens just because I'm walking past. Statistics also show that it does not, in fact, suck to be Caucasian. So this is an ideology that I cannot understand.

This type of thing is made even worse when you hear stories of the police trying to help a person get into their car when they got locked out and were trying to break in. I've been stopped while sitting in my parked car at my apartment complex to make sure the car wasn't stolen. Profiling is a very real thing and it perpetuates all of the racial stereotypes that are so divisive.

Yet there is hope. I can look at my kids and see a generation that is opposed to this type of hatred and bigotry. As time moves on, we may face a future where it is possible to truly see people judged not by their race, but by their actions and the "content of their character." So I do my part to teach my children to love and embrace differences.

Hopeful it resonates with the others they interact with as well.

Until next time, dear reader.

Seeing The Forest, Not The Trees

An interesting dispute occurred to me today. One of those issues that really drives a wedge between two people, especially when they are really intimate. This issue is one of expectation.

The expectation that people have when they measure an individual. It's very easy to see this issue when you look at some married couples. They are miserable together and actually don't like each other, all because they don't like who the person is versus who they expected them to be.

I remember the letters and notes that I was required to write to my future self in grade school, and there was invariably the theme of enjoying the things that I liked then. I wanted to share a connection with my future self through the toys and games that I loved as a kid. I think everyone shares a similar longing, at least I assume based upon the amount of material that is meant to invoke nostalgia nowadays.

However, certain aspects of my childhood have been shed our put aside. This is only natural as we mature. Yet, am I to be expected to throw all of these things away? Am I to cast the entirety of my formative years away merely because the number that denotes my time upon this earth has increased? I really don't think it should. I'm sure there are people out there that feel similarly in their own expectations.

So when I expect that who I am today will be who I am tomorrow, how do we cope with the people who expected someone else to be there? How do we deal with the friends, family, or spouses that feel justified in expecting a different person? They have seen who we were then and assumed that we would grow into someone else. That time and experience will somehow mold us into the shape that they predict, instead of merely remaining static.

It's a difficult juggling act, and yet I feel it is important to remain true to ourselves. Sometimes that means managing those expectations of others. Sometimes it means have to prune valuable friendships. However, never allow someone else to tell you who you are. The only way you can be personally happy is to accept yourself. And force those around you to do the same if they wish to remain part of your life.

Until next time, dear reader.

Follow Your Heart

Hello, dear readers. I'm truly sorry for the long hiatus. I've made the mistake of listening to advice that really doesn't suit me or the manner in which I operate.

A few years ago, I was talking with a family member about all of the things that I wanted to do with my life. Her advice was to drop some of those things and just focus on the one that was the most important. This of course opened a course of questions that I'm only just now resolving. The most important of which was: Important to whom?

Pursuing my personal goals, such as getting my degree and starting my business, are obviously the most important goals to me. However, the most important goal for my family is to get a promotion at my current job, or even to get a better paying job elsewhere. Which do I follow? Where do I go?

I chose to focus on my degree and to just make it through my days at work. As a result, a lot of my personal motivations dried up. The desire to accomplish anything of importance was drastically diminished because I work best when I'm loaded up with things I WANT to do and accomplish.

So here I am. Loading myself up with responsibilities and desires. If I don't force myself to improve, how can I expect anything to change

Anyway, thank you for being a platform for me to voice my ideas and thoughts. I appreciate the time that you take to read my words.

Until next time, dear reader.

Emotion Laid Bare

Hello reader! I truly apologize for my absence. I know that it's been a few weeks and I've not provided my end of the reader-blog writer agreement. So, I'm here now to try and rectify that situation.

One of the things that has been bothering me lately is not really feeling like I have an emotional release. I live by rules of logic and so I generally under utilize my emotions. Of course, as we all know, this will eventually lead to some sort of breakdown. I suppose tonight was that night for me.

Trying to reach out and access those emotions that have been bottled up, laying myself out there and trusting that it's okay to be vulnerable... Which then results in a rejection. Normally, I can use logic to rationalize why the rejection occurred and just sheriff it off. However, tonight was just a culmination of a lot of different factors, ending in this feeling of having my soul crushed. Even now, I'm trying to rationalize and justify away the emotions, just so I don't have to process them. Which is incredibly unhealthy. But when I don't have a person that I feel it would be fair to dump them on, what do you do?

I know that I've been battling this feeling of being a failure. I feel like I'm failing myself mostly, which is the hardest type of failure to deal with for me. I expend so much of my time trying to help others or pretend as if everything is great, when the reality is far different. I also know that spending so much time alone doesn't help, as I really enjoy social interaction. Talking and bouncing ideas off another person, or persons, helps to assuage these feelings of self-doubt and show me just how I'm not at all failing.

It's something to keep in mind anyway. Now to find a positive manner of dealing with my hurt feelings and processing my emotions like a mature adult. This is all a learning experience though, right? True wisdom is something you earn by living through these types of lessons.

Sorry for the downer blog post. I suppose it was just something I needed to get off my virtual chest, right?

Until next time, dear reader.