Seeing The Forest, Not The Trees

An interesting dispute occurred to me today. One of those issues that really drives a wedge between two people, especially when they are really intimate. This issue is one of expectation.

The expectation that people have when they measure an individual. It's very easy to see this issue when you look at some married couples. They are miserable together and actually don't like each other, all because they don't like who the person is versus who they expected them to be.

I remember the letters and notes that I was required to write to my future self in grade school, and there was invariably the theme of enjoying the things that I liked then. I wanted to share a connection with my future self through the toys and games that I loved as a kid. I think everyone shares a similar longing, at least I assume based upon the amount of material that is meant to invoke nostalgia nowadays.

However, certain aspects of my childhood have been shed our put aside. This is only natural as we mature. Yet, am I to be expected to throw all of these things away? Am I to cast the entirety of my formative years away merely because the number that denotes my time upon this earth has increased? I really don't think it should. I'm sure there are people out there that feel similarly in their own expectations.

So when I expect that who I am today will be who I am tomorrow, how do we cope with the people who expected someone else to be there? How do we deal with the friends, family, or spouses that feel justified in expecting a different person? They have seen who we were then and assumed that we would grow into someone else. That time and experience will somehow mold us into the shape that they predict, instead of merely remaining static.

It's a difficult juggling act, and yet I feel it is important to remain true to ourselves. Sometimes that means managing those expectations of others. Sometimes it means have to prune valuable friendships. However, never allow someone else to tell you who you are. The only way you can be personally happy is to accept yourself. And force those around you to do the same if they wish to remain part of your life.

Until next time, dear reader.